So I'm not sure what exactly is to blame, but for the past two weeks, especially this week, nothing is clicking. The kids are arguing with each other, arguing with adults, arguing (trying) with me, pushing my student teacher to her wits end, and basically operating on their own agenda. Obviously, it isn't all of them, but there's a chunk that are certainly influencing others to join them. This is not coupling well with my own mood, which is anything but cheery. The weather agitates my jaw and my headaches have been intense. Add all of that together and you create one unhappy classroom environment. Not good.
I take back all of my classes on Monday, and I'm definitely hoping that if I can get them back into my groove, and that I can get MY groove back, we can have a productive last six weeks. I know we spent too long on the genocide unit, so I will own that completely. There's absolutely no way to be happy and cheery while teaching about genocide. But, genocides simply are depressing, horrific, and troubling events. Couple that with the tribulations going on around us, and there's little surprise that we're in a rut.
Moving forward, I want to focus on positive things in class. We've spent ample time talking about dehumanization, let's start talking about humanization! I'm working on putting together a passion project for the next unit, and I'm hoping that the autonomy that I'm providing will help get us all back on track. We only have six weeks, and I want to make those weeks count. I have to.
So I'm going to think, reflect some more, and figure out some next steps.
Wednesday, April 24, 2013
Monday, April 15, 2013
Hope for the Hopeless
The other day I read a blog post by a teacher who is tired. It was an intense laundry list of everything that is wrong about education today, and I could relate to everything this teacher wrote. I also felt saddened by the hopelessness that this individual displayed because that hopelessness is indicative of the teacher morale across the country, and that is anything but good.
I'm tired, but I haven't reached the point where I'm ready to give up, and I've kind of taken a cue from Peeta and have the "I don't want them to own me" kind of attitude. I can get angry and frustrated and want to throw things at asinine people, but I don't want it to change who I am as an educator. I won't let them, because then they win, and I'm too much of a competitor to give in that easy. It doesn't mean I'm any better than my colleagues who are making the decision to leave the education field, it simply means I still have the hope and faith that what I do is important. I know that God will tell me when it's time to go, but until then, I trust that He will give me everything I need to keep fighting this battle. I also know that while the church and state are separate (and for good reason), that God uses people everywhere to do His will, and that's greater than any standardized test, state mandate, national mandate, or the next big thing to hit education.
Too many of us are living in fear of the unknown. Today was a prime example. I had 20 students today, yet the truth is, my school is the safest place for the kids at Washington. That, my friends, is a fact. People always think Washington is so "scary", "bad", and unsafe, yet there's nowhere I feel safer. I know people are crazy, but they're crazy everywhere. They're crazy all the time, and sometimes we're just in the wrong place at the wrong time. We must be vigilant and take necessary precautions, but don't let fear own you.
We cannot control much of anything, but we can control our own thoughts and actions. So today, I'm trusting in My God and His word, because in the end, it trumps fear, exhaustion, hopelessness, hatred, and anything else thrown my way.
I'm tired, but I haven't reached the point where I'm ready to give up, and I've kind of taken a cue from Peeta and have the "I don't want them to own me" kind of attitude. I can get angry and frustrated and want to throw things at asinine people, but I don't want it to change who I am as an educator. I won't let them, because then they win, and I'm too much of a competitor to give in that easy. It doesn't mean I'm any better than my colleagues who are making the decision to leave the education field, it simply means I still have the hope and faith that what I do is important. I know that God will tell me when it's time to go, but until then, I trust that He will give me everything I need to keep fighting this battle. I also know that while the church and state are separate (and for good reason), that God uses people everywhere to do His will, and that's greater than any standardized test, state mandate, national mandate, or the next big thing to hit education.
Too many of us are living in fear of the unknown. Today was a prime example. I had 20 students today, yet the truth is, my school is the safest place for the kids at Washington. That, my friends, is a fact. People always think Washington is so "scary", "bad", and unsafe, yet there's nowhere I feel safer. I know people are crazy, but they're crazy everywhere. They're crazy all the time, and sometimes we're just in the wrong place at the wrong time. We must be vigilant and take necessary precautions, but don't let fear own you.
We cannot control much of anything, but we can control our own thoughts and actions. So today, I'm trusting in My God and His word, because in the end, it trumps fear, exhaustion, hopelessness, hatred, and anything else thrown my way.
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