So Shines a Good Deed

Somehow I blinked and summer was over.  I'm not sure whether it was teaching session one of summer school or devoting most of my days to working on my concept proposal, but this summer flew by! It's hard to believe that I began my 12th year of teaching, especially since it's the 12th year at the same school.  Over the past 12 years, I managed to survive being riffed, bumped, and living on a partial contract.  I've coached two sports, served as the student council advisor, oversaw the newspaper, served on various leadership teams, and am the department chair.  All of these experiences have shaped me into the person, teacher, and leader I am today.  Teaching is still my heart, my passion, and my hope.

However, I have to admit, that I began this year in tears.  While I love having been at Washington for 12 years, it means that I am now a veteran teacher.  A veteran teacher who felt really alone in August.  I sat in my room on the day of freshman orientation and literally cried.  I cried for the faces I knew I wouldn't see in August, for the debauchery that has become public education in Indiana, for the loss of days to read and work on my dissertation, and for all the teachers in South Bend (everywhere!)  trying to fight the good fight.  I cried and then I  vented, drank some beer, and prayed.  I prayed for some guidance, for hope, and for strength to be who God wants me to be.

As I was praying, I was reminded of two things I had been working on in my own life spiritually.  One was my desire to be the best version of myself.  If you actually take on this task, you'll realize that being your best self is hard.  It's a daily battle and requires a lot of discipline, but I can honestly say that the challenge and self reflection has been worth it.  So with that goal in mind, I decided to make that my purpose for teaching this year.  I have a feeling it will remain my purpose for the remainder of my career. Walking into my classroom with the belief that my purpose is to help my students be the best version of themselves is empowering.  It's challenging, but amazing.  It reminds me that my students are so much more than a standardized test, a list of objectives, a writing assignment, or a piece of text.  They are young people trying to navigate the world and what their place in it is.  So we reflect on how to be the best version of ourselves on a daily basis, and we write about the things that prevent us from being the best version of ourselves.  The beauty is that we fail.  Some days, some hours, some minutes, we simply are not the best version of ourselves.  But each day is a fresh start, and I believe in redemption.

The second thing that I've been working on corresponds so closely with the first.  There's a quote from Charlie and the Chocolate Factory that I fell in love with over the summer.  It goes like this: "so shines a good deed in a weary world".  I think we're all overburdened with the weariness of the world.  There's so much of it, that it can make us feel defeated.  Yet this quote, coupled with my own faith in God, reminds me that good still exists, and that it's up to use to prove it.  It isn't enough to have faith, we have to do the works to back that faith up, even when we're tired, even when the world is a mess.  So my second goal is to be that good deed; to shine, even though I'm weary.

Here's to the 2015-2016 school year. May the odds be ever in your favor :)   

Creativity Matters. Especially to Me

It's hard to believe that the school year is drawing to a close, but here it is April 19th, and I'm finishing up lesson planning at the Cafe at the Overlook (I am a new fan).  Today was the first day in awhile that I've been able to devote a good chunk of time to planning.  Lately, I feel like I'm flying by the seat of my pants, as I'm trying to juggle writing a dissertation and being a teacher at the same time.  Honestly, I haven't done either one well.  Writing a dissertation is a full time job, and teaching is a profession that requires 45-50 hours a week to do well, and even then, it's not enough time.

So, in order to meet the demands of such rigorous endeavors, I've become the master of efficiency.  And it's killing my creativity.  I can't remember the last time I felt great about a lesson plan, designed a project that I was proud of, or wrote something remotely void of academia.  In short, I've become quite boring.  Even my choice of dress has become slightly drab because the last thing I feel like doing in the morning is thinking about what to wear, which is fine if you're someone who doesn't care about what you wear, but I do. There's something to be said about walking out of the house feeling confident.

There's also something to be said about a lesson plan that you feel confident about.  One that you have planned with the end of mind, one that is built on the knowledge you have of your students' backgrounds, one that is relevant and rigorous.  A dynamic lesson can make or break your day, and while they can be completely spontaneous, spontaneity doesn't happen frequently for me.  For me, a dynamic lesson takes time to plan.  It doesn't take loads of time, but it does require some time, and I haven't devoted nearly the amount of time to planning as I used to. Do I believe I'm still a good teacher?  Absolutely.  But I'm not at my best right now, and that's a hard pill to swallow. 

But I can be better, and that begins with sharpening my creativity.  It means making time for music, art, poetry, and beauty.  It means realizing that I'm at my best when I'm balanced and not spending all of my time reading academic journals.  It means taking pictures of the magnolia trees at Saint Mary's, a neat quote in a cafe bathroom, reading a recipe on Pinterest, looking at pretty clothes at Flourish, and listening to Dave and Jack on Pandora.

It means setting aside time to be free. Who's with me?

Thoughts on Group Projects

My goal at the beginning of the year was to blog weekly. While I have been blogging more regularly, I haven't met my goal.  I have, however, made great progress on the introduction of my dissertation concept paper, so that is great :)

Last week we began the research unit, and I like to begin with a brief introduction to the Rwandan Genocide.  It's an engaging topic, and there are a lot of high-interest and rigorous texts, films, and other resources that can be used to inform students about this important event in the world's history. I continue to be surprised that students have not been taught about the Rwandan Genocide but am certainly pleased to have the opportunity to teach it myself.

One of my favorite resources to use is this:

The Genocide Teaching Project
http://www.wcl.american.edu/humright/center/rwanda/lesson.cfm
The Project provides resources to teach about the legal concept of genocide in high schools, including a discussion of the Genocide Convention (1948), a brief overview of genocides that have taken place throughout history, and the types of behavior and actions, which may lead to genocide. Our two lesson plans include a 90-minute lesson on the genocide in Rwanda and a 45-minute lesson on the current violence in Darfur, Sudan.

The jigsaw provides an excellent opportunity to differentiate materials for students, allow them to work in groups, and to engage in critical thinking.  We've been working in groups for the past few days, and while they've done well, I take full responsibility for some of the "fails".  Here are some things I would/could do different:

1. Create groups based on ability rather than personality (heterogeneous ability grouping)
2. Assign tasks to be completed by each member in the group (accountability)
3. Get the paper and other materials BEFORE we started working (organization)
4. Teach my students how to save images and insert them on a word document.
5. Be more specific in my rubric for the poster: title should relate back to what they read! Otherwise you end up with The Rwandan Genocide for every poster.
6. Make each student write a summary (I think I did that last year, but I forgot this year.)
7. Teach the Norms of Collaboration so that students engage with each other better
8. Assign each person a task for the presentation (should have known they wouldn't do it on their own)
9.  Provide guiding questions for each group like my awesome colleague Kim Lander did

#LoveTeaching

The past few weeks as a teacher have been marked with pain, loss, grief, and other emotions that have honestly left me in a little funk.  I originally started this post a couple of weeks ago after I stopped into visit one of favorite people, Kelsey Bosch.  She introduced me to the #LoveTeaching movement that is currently circulating.  The process proved therapeutic for her, so I'm hoping the same will prove true for me!

In no particular order, here is why I love teaching:

1.  It's never boring and while I have a desk, I'm rarely in it.
2.  Kids are hilarious, even when they aren't trying to be.
3.  I get to see kids grow into some awesome human beings
4.  Seeing the light bulb go off never gets old
5.  Service learning...who doesn't like to see kids making a difference?
6.  I get to be creative and encourage my kids to be creative
7.  Kids have a resiliency that is contagious
8.  I am able to work with some amazing people
9.  It's inspiring
10. It's fun. Most days :)
11. For the most part, kids are caring and respectful
12.  I touch the future
13. I'm constantly being stretched and forced to grow
14. I can fight for social justice every day
15. It allows me to serve God in a meaningful way
16. Even when it's difficult, even when I want to give up, I know that what I do matters.  Not  everyone can say that.

Loss

When I thought about what I would write this weekend, several ideas were running through my head, but none of them are close to what I'm actually going to write about.

At 3:30 yesterday, I was walking down to the office because I needed something from my box before I left for the weekend.  My AP stopped me and had me look at two pictures.  With only a little knowledge of the Park Jefferson story I saw on my Facebook feed and his words that included pool, I turned away and said no.  My heart knew even if my mind was struggling.  I fell to the floor and sobbed and felt a pain that I'm not sure I can describe.

I love Keyontae and Jeanie.  I had Keyontae when he was in 9th grade; he was an old man stuck in a 15 year old's body.  He even had a full mustache to go with it.  Kind, funny, supportive, and honest.  He declared me his godmom and so began the great journey of knowing Keyontae.  Every morning he would stop by to say hello and check on me throughout his high school career.  Rarely would he come without Jeanie.  She wasn't just his girlfriend; she was his best friend.  They had loved each other since middle school, and when you looked at those two, you just knew God loved them together.  They defied conventional wisdom and opinions about teenage love and were an example of how opposites not only attract but bring out the best in each other.

When Keyontae moved away for a brief time, Jeanie would give me regular updates, as would Keyontae.  He wanted to make sure he stayed in touch and that I didn't forget about him.  How could I?  He finished out his high school career last year, which is a testimony to him.  Keyontae didn't excel academically, and he always knew that college wasn't going to be for him.  However, he knew the value of a high school diploma and often told me that school was the only job kids grew up knowing how to do.

I was lucky enough to run into both of them the night of Midwinter.  I stopped into Bendix and saw his face in the window.  It was serendipitous.  Now, I see that God's hands were all over that.  He sat with me for close to 25 minutes filling me on his life, asking me about mine, and offering reflections on the future.  Jeanie joined us for a bit before they both left, and I remember thinking how much they loved each other.  That might be the only thing that gives me some kind peace with losing them both.

May they both rest in peace with God.  

Including the Excluded

I recently switched gears on my dissertation proposal, which was part terrifying and part relieving.  It has been a difficult, tear-filled, sleepless, gut wrenching year and after spinning my wheels on a few different but very related topics, I stumbled upon an article about the banning of the Mexican American Studies course in Arizona.  As the daughter of a Mexican migrant worker, who has tackled my own identity crisis, I resonated deeply with the article.  It led to several more readings about the struggle of Latino students in the United States, something which has lit a fire in me.  It has also made me reflect on my teaching practice.  If someone would have asked me if my classroom was culturally responsive ten years ago, I would have said yes without hesitating.  Now I have to think too long.  Am I more culturally responsive than most? I would guess yes.  Am I where I should or want to be? Absolutely not.  This is particularly evident when I look at the content I use in my classroom.  I used to spend extra time searching for supplemental resources to go with the classic, Euro-centric curriculum that I was expected to teach.  Now, it feels like I'm just getting by, and reach for the tried and trued rather than taking the time to search for the culturally relevant material that my students should have access to. I am ashamed. I really and truly am.  But I plan on fixing that very soon.

On tap first?  I am going to dig into The Mendez Segregation case.  It is fascinating, and I never learned about it in high school.  After a quick survey of some juniors and seniors, it sounds like they haven't either.  A children's book was recently written, NPR aired a special about a year ago, and there are some great resources online for teachers to use.  I think it will be a great segment in my rhetoric unit and am thinking it's also an opportunity to talk Cesar Chavez and what it means to Viva la Causa.  The wheels are spinning, and nothing gets me more excited than tackling a new topic.

I'm also looking into novels that more adequately meet the diverse needs, experiences, and voices of all my students.  Ones that are rigorous and authentic and most likely don't appear anywhere on the Indiana reading list.  In case you haven't seen it lately, it's dominated by White males.

One of the most beautiful aspects of America is its diversity.  We should be able to celebrate our uniqueness without being accused of being "UnAmerican".  We should be able to walk into a classroom and feel safe, validated, welcome, and valued.  It is up to teachers to make sure that happens.  We must be willing to recognize our own bias, the bias in the curriculum we teach, and the society we live in. 

We must be willing to rectify the exclusion of the people and experiences that have and continue to shape this country.

Resources for teaching Mendez:

Separate is Never Equal (voted Best Children's Book in 2014) http://www.amazon.com/Separate-Never-Equal-Duncan-Tonatiuh/dp/1629238562

http://zinnedproject.org/materials/sylvia-mendez-separate-is-never-equal/

Mendez vs. Westminister https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fQVblGpHBdU

http://www.npr.org/blogs/codeswitch/2014/05/16/312555636/before-brown-v-board-mendez-fought-californias-segregated-schools

The Power of Collaboration

Over the summer, the English 9 team met to map out the school year and decided we were going to teach "A Midsummer's Night Dream".  I've never taught it before and had only read it once in college, but after seven years of "Romeo and Juliet" I was ready for a change.  Thankfully, I'm not trying to figure out how to teach this play on my own, because I would be a wreck! I was having a minor freak out over break, but then we met at Chicory Cafe and discussed the themes and essential questions we wanted to use and all was right with the world. 

This is what we came up with:

Essential Questions: 

1. What makes poetry different than prose?
2. What happens in a world where men and women are treated unequally?
3.  How do we differentiate between dreams and reality?
4.  How is our behavior scripted/influenced by societal expectations?

Statement of Enduring Understanding: "The course of true love ne'er did run smooth"- love is difficult, especially when others do not approve.

Themes: love is transformative, control is a mirage, people escape reality as a means to gain control

 I love meeting with the women on my team as they are phenomenal, intelligent, strong, and amazing.  I can honestly say that the past year and a half has transformed me as collaborator and teacher.  When I first began teaching, I pretty much stayed in my room, talked to a few people in my department, and tried to make sense out of what I was doing on my own.  There were a few individuals that I would vent to and steal ideas from, but true collaboration on a regular basis was rare.  It was a lonely world.

Now, I can't imagine my life or my teaching without it.  It is absolutely amazing to spend time reflecting on my teaching and then sharing those reflections with people I trust.  We can talk honestly about our failures while also celebrating our victories with chocolate or a good beer.  Our diverse teaching styles make us stronger and help us to push our boundaries.  We share our materials willingly because we want each other to be the best teachers possible.  We also engage in some healthy competition which never hurts anyone.  Most of all, though, these women are my friends.  They have beautiful hearts, brilliant minds, and inspire me on this crazy journey called teaching.

Essential Learning

It's difficult to believe that it is January 3, 2015 or that it has been almost two months since I last blogged. Eek.  Adding blog more to my career goals!  So what have I been doing in those two months... other than unsuccessfully writing the introduction of my dissertation proposal?  Maybe a better question to ask is what haven't I done in those two months?

In all honesty, I haven't done what I love the most: plan creative, authentic, and meaningful lessons.  I've been hanging on, and that is the worst thing a teacher can do.  Anyone who knows me, knows that teaching has always been my passion.  Except lately, it isn't.  Not because I don't love my students, writing, or literature.  I do. But I hate Acuity, the ECA, standardized assessments, and all that other crap.  I also hate how much I've pretended to play the game this year.  I've been a dutiful department head, a pretty good teacher, and have tried to believe that all those standardized tests mean something to me.  But they don't and pretending that they do is a lie, and it is destroying me as a teacher.

Wow, it felt good to say that out loud.  The truth is supposed to set you free, right?  Here's  what else is true: using an Acuity assessment to determine whether I'm a highly effective teacher or not is criminal. It also infuriates me.  You know why?  Because if value is placed almost entirely on standardized tests, then your focus is almost entirely on standardized tests.  It isn't on essential questions, statements of enduring understandings, universal themes, project based learning, culminating projects, service learning, your students' voices or anything else that makes teaching absolutely amazing. I want absolute amazing and my students deserve absolute amazing.

So here's my New Year's resolution: find my identity as a teacher again.