A single moment

It's been a crazy few weeks, and it's taking its toll on my wonderful body right now.  Writing over 100 pages in four days, teaching full time, being a normal human being with life issues, surgery, being a full time doctoral student, and being the department head will do that to you. There has been so much I wanted to blog about, yet in the end, sleep has won out. I don't want to try to cram everything into this one blog, so maybe I'll post a couple today :)

It comes as no surprise to the people who know me well that my faith is an essential component of my identity not only as an individual, but in my teaching profession as well.  I try to walk in Christ's light, but I definitely fall short.  Lately, I've been feeling overwhelmed with everything and anything, so when I heard we were having mission at church a couple of weeks ago, I knew I had to make it. Even if for only one night.

I loved everything about the evening I was able to attend, but the one thing he spoke about that truly spoke to me was the importance of a single moment. He said to never doubt the transformative power of a single moment to change lives. What a message, especially for teachers. We have these moments every second, every minute, and every hour of the day. The way we speak to our students, the way we handle their disruptions and ridiculousness, their adolescent tears, their adolescent choices that leave a lot to be desired, their challenges, and their mistakes.  Talk about pressure. Sometimes I think we forget that adolescents are not adults. They might think they are, they might try to talk to us like they are, and they might actually take on that role in their homes. But they're not. Even the most mature ones.

I'm not saying we can't keep it real with students, after all, that might be exactly the moment that is powerful enough to transform their lives.  In fact, I rarely sugar coat anything in my class, because the world is a difficult place and they need to know how to live in it. But the way we handle those single moments, those brief encounters, they matter. Sometimes we might want to yell and scream and pound our heads against the wall, sometimes we might want to cry because they're too young to be in that much pain or to have made such as adult decision.  Sometimes, we might want to crawl under a rock and find someone more suitable to handle the situation. But we're it.

Teachers take a pounding. Especially the good ones. We take it in the media, from society, from unfair expectations, and from the emotional stress that inevitably comes with teaching other people's children.  So as we approach each moment, let's try to think about how to handle it the best way possible.  No matter how small, each moment has the potential to transform lives, and that is powerful.

Working It!

I haven't written in awhile because I've reached one of the pivotal points in my doctoral work so most of my time on the weekend is devoted to research and writing. During the week it's difficult to find a good chunk of time to write a thoughtful entry.  However, so much has been racing through my mind, that I had to make time to write.

It has been a powerful and interesting 4 weeks.  I had minor sinus surgery, which cramped my style for a good week and a half. I was cranky, tired, and anything but creative. Thankfully, my students didn't throw me out the window.

There's so much I want to write about, but I think the thing that gnawing on me the most is figuring out how to reach the slice of students that needs direct intervention by me.  I know who the kids are, and I even have time set up on Fridays to work it, but the problem is I don't know how.  There. I said it. I'm not sure how to help my specific slice of kids that is struggling with writing. So my homework is to try and find some awesome teaching videos that hopefully can inspire me to work in small groups in a meaningful way.

The second issue that is concerning me is the increased number of 9th graders who have figured out how to work the system.  They're starting to skip, they're starting to miss a lot of class, and there's nothing we can do about it except give them a failing grade that for most of them doesn't impact them anyway.  I guess that's why my mind and heart is so invested in my dissertation topic. I want to know what makes these kids tick. Most of the research I've read indicates that intrinsic motivation decreases from about 7-11th grade. The biggest decrease occurring in 9th grade, which is followed by their 10th grade year when they legally can drop out.  We have to do something to reach these kids, but right now our hands out tied.  Yet, maybe my research can shed some light and help us make some changes at WHS and beyond,

Lastly, I've finally reached the point in my 5th hour when I've pretty much released control due to scaffolding, and it's awesome. I let them roll with what I give them and they are nailing it.  It's pretty sweet. 1st and 3rd are nowhere near that, but that's OK, because they've come a long way. It's all about progress.

Happy Friday

Learning Target, Outcomes, Assessments...Oh, DANG

Today I attended professional development that is part of our new teacher evaluation, although we don't call it that :) This is my third year working in this model, and while I definitely despise being taken out of my classroom (did I mention despise?) there is merit to the process. However, I keep thinking the process would be much more effective PRIOR to the school year. Now, if only we could find a way to pay teachers to attend at the start of the school year...

But I digress.  Today was all about assessment. I love assessment. Wait. I don't love assessment, I love creating amazing assessments. As for the mundane assessments that are part of a teacher's life? I could do without them. Except those assessments are necessary, and even though it's a pain, I really do need to know if my students can use our word wall words correctly. I also need to know if they can write complete thoughts, otherwise known as sentences. I need to know, I need to know....well, I need to know a lot.  Therein lies the struggle that I think most educators have. We have so much that we want students to know, that we don't always take the time to decide what is essential for students to know. In some cases, knowing how to act like respectful young people is most definitely at the top of the list. We can't teach in an environment that isn't conducive to learning.

Once we start to tackle that monster, then we have to begin to evaluate our own assessment of student learning. I thank God for Dr. Kitty Green who exposed all of us SMC 2004 grads to Wiggins and McTighe. If you're an educator and you don't know who they are, you need to find out quick. They are the gurus of all things important to quality instruction. I live and die by backwards design.  I know where my students need to go, how I'm going to get them there, and how to check how they're doing along the way. This is also known as formative and summative assessment.  It's also known as great teaching. I could start going on and on about essential questions and statements of enduring understanding, but that belongs in a different post. Kind of.

Back to assessment. I truly believe that beginning with the end in mind is so crucial to great teaching. Curriculum maps are a nice way to start aligning this thinking and are much less intimidating than an entire unit plan.  Yet, I fear that people hear the word curriculum map and they freak out, don't see the merit in it, or think it's just going to change anyway. Ah, but it shouldn't. The beauty of a curriculum map is that it keeps you honest.  If you have decided prior to the beginning of a unit what skills, knowledge, and targets students MUST own, then that becomes the rock of your teaching. Can you add stuff? Of course. However, the nuts and bolts remain the same. It's also how you know whether you're meeting the desired learning targets. It's a beautiful thing.

Our target should always be student learning in some way.  Yet, if we don't know what those targets are in the first place, how will we ever know if they actually got them? We have to be decisive as teachers. We have to know what students need to know, how we will help them learn the material, how we will assess whether they have learned it, and how we will reteach it if they don't. It's a challenging and sometimes daunting task. I know there are times I want to crawl under a rock and come back out in June, but alas that isn't an option. Instead, I keep thinking of ways to challenge myself as an educator, to look for areas of growth in assessing student learning, and trying not to cringe at the stack of important assessments that need to be graded.

Power of the Pen

As a teacher, it seems like there are no guarantees for the kind of day you'll have. We can plan the best lesson, but it can completely flop for a variety of reasons.  Sometimes, we fail to implement it correctly, sometimes our students are in a different country (figuratively speaking, of course), and other times it just plain fails.

I've been open about the fact that teaching structured writing is difficult for me.  I often feel torn between creative expression and the need to give a formula to students. Balance. So teaching students how to craft the perfect paragraph has been my Achilles Heel. I always botch it in some way.It's a struggle to teach something that comes so naturally to me, and this summer I had to have a come to Jesus meeting with myself. I couldn't continue to do something bad just because it wasn't easy. Feel free to insert a corny saying. I decided to scaffold every piece of the 8-sentence paragraph.  Scaffolding is a whole other blog in itself, but I can proudly say that I've owned scaffolding of the 8-sentence paragraph for the past month. It hasn't always been easy, and there were days I wondered if it was working.

I've been getting some pretty strong evidence that it is. Is it perfect? Far from it. But we're making progress, and I'm learning a lot, and that's half the battle. Writing is an essential skill to possess, and I want to make sure that my students are prepared. No excuses.

Fresh Start

Today was a much needed day off. Between last minute hirings (day before school starts), taking over as the department head, adding five new teachers to the English department, coaching cross country, advising student council, and, you know, teaching, I've been on the verge of a nervous breakdown. OK, maybe that's an exaggeration. However, it has been a challenging two weeks.

It's also been a great learning experience. 

I can honestly say that reflective practice has helped me to grow as an educator.  While I've certainly had to make adjustments to my teaching, I've been able to avoid some pitfalls based on previous experiences. Friday marked the first go with stations.  Prior to Friday, I created the groups, the group leaders, and had everything planned out in writing.  Did things go wrong? Of course. I teach 9th graders, after all.  However, contrary to the past, I didn't flip out and get overly anxious when things didn't go quite as planned. I made notes about things that could go better, about things that went better than expected, and minor tweaking that needed to take place.

The most important part of the past week and a half has been establishing procedures. I cannot emphasize it enough! You can't expect to get anything done in a classroom if students don't know what's expected of them. Posting the procedures and expectations has been critical, as has modeling what I expect students to do.

I'm happy with the start to the school year, but I know we have a lot of work to do. I'm excited about this group of students, and I have a feeling we're going to have an absolutely amazing year.

It Goes Both Ways

Hmm. So, I just read a blog about how much teachers hate in-services. The title was "If Teachers Planned In-Service Training".  Interestingly enough, somehow three or four years ago, I got roped in to designing and planning our professional development. I was on the flip side for the first time in my teaching career, and it was anything but fun.  It was intimidating. It's also one of the hardest things to plan because everything that the teacher complained about in the blog is the attitude of many teachers everywhere...including my school. Including ME when I get sent to these random meetings that I shall not name.

Planning professional development sucks. Plain and simple. Teachers often don't want to be there, they're tired of hearing stuff they've heard before, they're tired of trying something new, and it's obvious that many believe it's a waste of their time. It got to a point when I was literally trying to figure out the shortest amount of time to present something (I managed to get it down to 15 minutes), and I started to grow disheartened by the whole process. Maybe I still am.

I know that in-services can be a pain in the ass. I know that some people have no fashion sense and are fond of saying the same word over and over again. MMkayyy.

But, I also think teachers need to have some perspective. When we walk into a room already confident that what we are going to hear is a waste of our time, we probably won't hear anything worthwhile even if it's there. (Yet, we want our students in our classroom ready to learn!)

When we refuse to take part in discussion, whether it's whole group, a think-pair-share, or round table, then we lose the chance to learn from the other teachers in our building. Funny, we would be pissed off if we asked our students to do a think pair share and they blew it off. "But, my stuff is important!" (uh-huh)

Data and statistics are important. The key is figuring out which ones matter, and some do. A lot. Focus on the data that matter and move forward in a meaningful way.

I'm not a big fan of warm and fuzzy.  It is most definitely a waste of time and beyond annoying. But the concept of stepping outside of our comfort zone is not. It's a worthwhile task and frankly, I've seen too many schools implode because the faculty and staff didn't know how to speak to each other respectfully. Or how to speak. At all.

In short, what I've learned about in-services from being on the flipped side, is that we could all benefit from a little self-reflection.  Join the planning team, trust me, they would love to have you. We could also benefit from real dialogue about what SHOULD happen in professional development instead of complaining about what's wrong without taking a single moment to think about how it could actually work (now, there is a novel idea).

I can think of a million, but everyone else is already out to lunch.

Lose to Win

One of the greatest aspects of teaching is being able to collaborate with other amazing teachers. This past week I've spent time at Penn High School working with four other women in a technology workshop. It's been fun, and I have learned a lot. It's also made me sad.

It's no secret that I was heart broken when my good friend and fellow teacher Kelli decided to leave teaching to pursue a writing career. She is an amazing teacher, friend, woman, and human being. She is also hands down probably the best teacher I've ever witnessed.

I was already feeling upset about losing such a great teacher and friend when I learned that my fearless leader, my friend, and another phenomenal teacher was moving on to take a position as a principal. He is going to set OD on fire, and I am lucky to have worked with him, learned from him, joked with him, and collaborated with him. Filling his shoes? Unlucky :)

I should have known that things happen in threes. This past week I learned that another one of my friends, fellow English teachers, all-around good guy was leaving WHS in order to better serve his family. Berg is probably one of the most honest, kind, and giving people I know. He was the guy willing to do the crazy stuff like dressing up as a Caveman or Elvis to meet a "need" at school. lol. So, you can see how I would be heartbroken that he, too, has left.

I'm scared right now. I'm the department head, and I don't even have positions filled for the upcoming school year. The three people I talk to the most about curriculum and instruction are gone. I kind of feel like I'm lost at sea or am running in a trail that leads deeper into the woods with no exit (I might actually enjoy that if I was actually running).

No one gave me an instructional manual for being department head, and I already feel like I might have made a few mistakes. I don't want to give my colleagues extra work when we're already overburdened, but I also can't do things alone. I don't want to dictate, and I don't want to only ask a few people, because I know what's it's like to be the person who is asked over and over and over to do one extra thing. I want us to be a team. To work together, to have fun, and to find some satisfaction in this profession that is becoming more and more difficult.

I also hope my colleagues give me some room to make mistakes because I will. It comes with being human.