Forward Progress

The past two weeks have been challenging. I had my wisdom teeth pulled two weeks ago today.  While I did not have horrible swelling or bleeding, the surgery made it extremely difficult to teach (try teaching without being able to open your mouth!). It also caused tension headaches, which then led to intense migraines with nausea. Teaching has been anything but fun. Until yesterday :)

On Tuesday, I went to my primary care doctor who gave me the most wonderful shot in the world. He also gave me medicine to help with the nausea. You are now looking at one migraine free woman/teacher.

Teaching is a profession (yes, it IS a profession) that is tied ridiculously close to an individual's mood, health, heart, etc. I was miserable and as a result my classroom wasn't working the way I wanted it to. It couldn't. I was frustrated by my inability to function and was wondering how long I would have to come to school unable to be the teacher I wanted so much to be.

Yesterday was the first time that I felt like I was teaching since having my teeth removed. It was beautiful.  Even in my third hour.

Rotations were on tap...something I haven't been able to do in awhile. We just finished the Odyssey  and I wanted to wrap up on a good note. We needed to work in small groups on writing, they needed to work on their edublog project, as well as work on analyzing theme. Placing them in groups worked beautifully. We were able to have real conversations about what makes academic writing different, why it was necessary to stay focused and to provide examples, and why we should avoid writing the way we talk :) 9th graders were able to talk about academic writing, and it was awesome. Not perfect, but awesome!

What were the reasons for success?

1. My attitude. I wanted to be there and had the energy to TEACH
2. The students were engaged at each station
3. Small groups for writing instruction-SUCCESS
4. Structured freedom
5. New seating arrangement, which opened up the room and provided much needed SPACE

I'm not completely healed, and I still have a lot of work to do with my 3rd hour. However, I am thankful for the past two days and the progress that was made.

SPACE

People's opinions vary about whether class size matters. I can argue both points. I have had a class of 20 that was enough to kill me and a class of 28 that was great. In most cases, I think class dynamics impact a classroom more than anything when it comes to discipline or management.

However, I think when we are at or above 30 kids in a classroom, we're asking for trouble in terms of maximizing learning. 22-24 is my magic number, as it is large enough for class discussion, but small enough to put kids into rotations in a timely manner. Forget differentiating instruction...you simply cannot do that with 30 plus kids, something that many of my colleagues at Penn and other schools deal with on a regular basis.  If we want quality learning for our children, then we need to take a long hard look about how we use space and how we maximize learning for all students.

My 3rd hour sits at 31 and sometimes I literally want to break a wall down because I feel like we're on top of each other. I trip over a desk or leg at least twice in a class period, kids are on top of each other, and personal space is simply nonexistent. I know it isn't helpful to reflect on things that are out of my control, but it drives me nuts because it is hindering quality learning from taking place. It's also stressing me out. I looked ahead to next trimester and I'm supposed to have 34 kids. I literally do not have a desk for those three extra kids, and I'm using every bit of space I have right now.

9th graders are also really good at invading personal space. They should have a class on THAT.

On an entirely different note, we're studying Greek Mythology right now and of course the mythological body biographies were hysterical. Those Greeks were some crazy people. I mean Athena was born out of Zeus' head after he swallowed his mistress. One of the terms that came up was nymph, which then led to nympho, which then led to a discussion of sex addiction and the following term created by one of my students: "MISS, these people are crazy! All of them are sex alcoholics!" I'm trying not to think of that phrase too much because I start laughing and when I laugh my jaw hurts A LOT. However, it was a gem that I had to share, and I want to end on a positive note :)

The Perils of Freedom

This reflection has two parts.  The first is my frustration reflection. The second is my productive reflection :)

Before: I knew that 3rd hour was going to be a challenge, and I was right.  Today, four kids that I haven't seen in a week showed up, so they did not fit in well to the lesson plan for the day.  Contrary to popular opinion, one needs to come to school if s/he wants to pass 9th grade English.  That being said, my AP came in today for the entire class period.  The focus was strictly on classroom environment.  At some point, I will possibly explain everything that this standard encompasses.  At some point.

We began the first 20 minutes reading like we always do on Tuesdays and Thursdays.  They did this relatively well, although there were some random questions, comments, and behavior. They're 9th graders.  The bell rang for lunch and I waited for them to come back so we could continue.

My expectation is that they are supposed to have their folder, pen/pencil, and word of the day sheet before class starts. I bought them all a folder and its supposed to be kept in the drawer.  Needless to say, we still haven't mastered having all of this done before the bell rings.  One of my larger students even decided that he would stand in front of the chalkboard to blow his nose while I was trying to do the word of the day. Nice. Awful. Eyes bugging out: WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!

We make it through the word of the day, I give them a brief synopsis on the creation of the gods and titans and all that jazz (crazy stuff).  Then we move to the silent paper wad journal which is so awesome. Just not in this class. I love paper wad journaling  because it's a way to have a discussion without there being a lot of crosstalk, off task behavior, etc. Today it was an epic failure in 3rd hour. Apparently, I either suck at giving directions or half of them need hearing aids and glasses.

I did my best to salvage this lesson, but it was ugly.  My AP spoke to me after and agreed that this was a challenging class, but that I could whip them into shape. We would talk more about their inability to handle freedom and the use of expectations.

After: I was frustrated most of the day until I talked to my partner in crime. He's my best friend and is a remarkable teacher. He will also be an amazing administrator when he finishes up his program this year. As a primary teacher, he spends a lot of time modeling and working on procedures. He even pointed out that sometimes he spends an entire week just working on procedures because if students aren't on board then teaching cannot take place. He also reminded me that it's impossible to teach through distractions when the kids are entertained by them. Check.

So after some reflecting, suggesting, talking, and questioning, we came up with the following list of things to work on and remember.

1. A challenging class will usually not be as efficient as a class that is less challenging.  A little more hand holding might be necessary. They also might need more time to achieve my expectation.

2. If things aren't going the way they are supposed to, I need to stop the lesson and do it until we get it right.  If it takes 30 minutes for the next two weeks, that's better than it never happening at all.

3. Model everything, and let them practice before moving onto the actual task if it is more difficult.(This is where the paper wad journal went wrong)

4. I'm expecting them to be able to work in an environment that's free...a lot of these kids never taste freedom so they run wild when they are given it in my classroom (insert AHA moment!).

5. I need to scaffold freedom into my class

I might not have all the answers yet, but at least I have a place to start...even if it's five weeks late :)

Evaluating Evaluation

This will be short and sweet because most of my reflecting will come in the next couple of days.  Tomorrow I will be one of the few teachers in our school being evaluated using the corporation's new tool.  I spent six glorious training sessions last year being "trained" in something I cannot even being to describe. OK, maybe cognitive coaching is one way to describe it. Anywho, at the end, we learned that those of us who went through the training would be "guinea pigs".

I actually like the new tool, although I have no clue how administrators will ever be able to complete everything it requires...I pray for them.

Tomorrow one of the assistant principals who I worked with all year will be visiting my 3rd hour.  I picked this class because it is my biggest struggle.  I need help, I need insight, I need careful examination. I could have asked my AP to visit any of my other classes that run like clockwork, but I realized that wouldn't be true to my commitment to reflective practice.  My AP will be observing this particular class for all of my evaluations. To say I'm nervous would be an understatement.  Tomorrow, all of my weaknesses and challenges will be exposed, and I'm scared.  I think it's natural to want people to see you at your best, so to willingly open myself up to being seen at my worst makes me cringe a little.

Yet, it's authentic, and if there's anything people should know about me by now, it's that I keep it real 24/8.  No facade here. No false pretenses. No putting on a show. I do me...even when me needs a lot of work.